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  • Do you have people in your group who are always demanding extra time and attention for their latest crisis – but very little ever seems to get resolved?
  • Are there certain ‘Extra Grace Required’ (EGRs) types around, with whom you have to work extra hard to show love and be compassionate?
  • Have you wondered how to set sustainable boundaries without them discovering and blowing up on you?

The reality of leadership in the church is that we WILL have people who are more difficult to lead, or even simply be with. They seem to suck all of marrow out of your bones, all of the oxygen out of the room, and still seem to be unsatisfied with the amount of the attention and care that they are receiving!

This is about far more than them having a different personality type to yours! Instead, we are talking about the ones who never seem to get any of their issues resolved (often, you suspect, because they aren’t engaging with the process of change and maturity), and who seem to love being the center of attention when they can tell everyone, in great detail, about all that is wrong in their life. These are the EGRs!

Yet we are aware that we are still to love these dear ones, and to care for them with compassion. The key, though, is knowing how to do so in a sustainable way – which leads us to the place of setting boundaries with people who seem to ignore any of the more subtle social signals.

In this video, Alex and Hannah have a truly candid and blunt conversation about how to lead EGRs. As you’ll discover, Alex gets really annoyed – and so he shares some of the lessons he’s learned. And Hannah, who is far nicer than her husband, talks about how she had learned to set clear boundaries. You’ll find this video to be an honest and insightful training tool!

EXERCISE:

How do you deal with EGRs? 

What are your top tips?

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